I thought I was in a huge reading slump, but decided that wasn't the right thing to call it, since I definitely want to read, and have been at least attempting to read ton of books. It wasn't until tonight, that the realization struck me, that I am utterly and completely afraid of commitment to a story.
- I'm afraid that I'll get into a story, only to realize that the main character is just like 100 other main characters I have read about.
- I'm afraid that I'll get into a story, and be utterly disappointed in the end.
- I'm afraid that I'll get into a book, only to find it full of cliches that I'll then have to suffer through.
- I'm afraid that I won't like the second (or third, etc.) book as much as I loved the first.
- And mostly: I'm afraid that I'll love a story so much, that the bar will be set even higher.
My reading preferences have changed drastically in the last year (and it was completely without my permission), and I find I have no idea how to handle the change. I'm less satisfied with simple, easy endings; less happy with typical male stereotypes; more annoyed with typical female stereotypes; less entertained by the wonders of YA. And, for the first time in my life, I have had less time for reading. This has given me a sense of urgency, which has translated into me not wanting to "waste" time on books I won't like.
Hence, my fear of commitment.
Hopefully it will pass someday soon. Until then, I'll be over here in my corner of the world, steadily moving towards holding the world record for the most unfinished books, ever.